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Writer's pictureNatalie Zfat

Setting Boundaries during COVID: IG Live with Dr. Deborah Gilboa


Raise your hand if you're dealing with stress right now. (Everyone's hands should be up.)

But according to Resilience Expert (and overall lovely human) Dr. Deborah Gilboa, stress is not necessarily a bad thing, quite simply, because: "It prepares you for life."⁣


Thank you to Dr. Gilboa for joining me for an IG Live to talk all about setting boundaries and thriving as a professional (and person) in the age of COVID.


Here are some of my top takeaways⁣:

  • Stress is like exercise. If you want to be physically stronger, you build up your strength with exercise. If you want to strengthen your mental health and resilience, you build that strength with stress. 

  • Don’t categorize stress as good and bad. Instead, practice recognizing two things: When you’ve reached - or are close to reaching - your limit, identify the things you can do to set yourself up for success. And never forget the power of saying no.

  • Work-life balance is a myth. Instead, look at it as work-life spaghetti (yum). It’s unrealistic that you can leave your family stress behind when the clock strikes 9:00 a.m., or leave your work stress at your desk at 5:00 p.m. It's all intertwined. But setting boundaries with your boss, your clients and co-workers is a simple a way to ensure that you will be able to do your best work both in the office and at home. 

  • In these uncertain times, disruption offers opportunity to realign with your priorities. This moment calls for deep personal reflection, both for yourself and for your family. If you’re a parent, have a real and open dialogue with your children about mental health, staying safe, how everyone can pitch in at home and how loved and needed each of you are to the family during this time. This is a profoundly unique opportunity to help kids strengthen their ability to healthily confront loss and disruption.

  • Know the tipping point between helpful and damaging when it comes to difficult conversations. There are a lot of heavy topics saturating our social spaces, from COVID-19 to systemic racism. Consider the quality rather than the quantity of your participation, and step back if the stress it causes no longer aligns with your priorities. When discussing these topics with your children, lead with non-judgmental questions rather than confrontation. “Have you heard about this? Tell me what you know.” Meet them where they are, and always meet them there with gratitude, curiosity and personal accountability.


Have a topic you'd like to discuss on Asking for Myself? Send your pitch to nicole@nataliezfat.com.

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